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When the fear of being seen on Facebook rules your business

fear-of-being-seen-people-pleaser

One of the reasons I had a hard time getting my business “out there” in the first year of my business, was because I was scared what my family and (old High School) friends would think.

They were all my friends on Facebook so I wouldn’t hardly post ANYTHING on my personal page.

I was scared of their judgment and what they would say

at family dinners. I was scared to death what they would all say behind my back in my tiny hometown where word spreads like wildfire. They don’t “get it” and I totally used it as an excuse to not do anything. They didn’t know all of the personal work I’d done through life coach training or how much I had actually gone through in my life.

Then I realized how much power I was giving them over my life. My entire business was riding on their thoughts and my fears around what they would think.

I had a decision to make-

I could keep on doing what I’m doing, playing it “safe” and pleasing everyone except for me and those I’m meant to serve OR I could choose my happiness over theirs, my mission and purpose for being on this Earth over the power I was handing them.

So here’s what I did…

1. I hid friends and family from my timeline on Facebook.
–I didn’t hardly think of any of them before Facebook, but now there were constantly in my face every time I opened my newsfeed. Hiding them allowed me to “forget” them and start to gain some power back.

2. I dug deeper into my WHY.
–As much as I resisted this, it really is important so that it keeps me out of my head and doing what I need to be doing. It really helps you get past the emotions that want you to stop and pushing on when you remember why others need you to step into your power and what they miss out on when you are controlled by those around you.

3. I started to recognize who I was letting have power over me and WHY.
–A lot of it stemmed from childhood. Their words and actions were a lot more painful back then (bullies at school, extended family control freaks, etc). We get in the habit of being people pleasers to get love and acceptance, but as we get older- we HAVE to start standing in our own power.

empowerment

4. I created a “friends/family” list and a “business” list in Facebook.
–Dividing up my list helped me feel I could post freely to my entrepreneur friends that I’ve made over the last year. I can confidently be me and the “new and real” me with the entrepreneurs I adore and who understand, and put the others out of my mind. Someday, I WILL have an integrated list without any lists…it’s my goal to build up my confidence to that (I’m a work in progress!!) but until then, this works great.

It’s easy to get stuck in old patterns. It’s easy to let others control us. It’s easy to let others control our happiness and make decisions for us.

BUT…

You’re never going to be happy if you let others control you. You’ve got to work on making yourself as happy as you try to make them. You’re never going to go anywhere in your business if you don’t stand up for yourself, the work you are meant to do in this world, and how amazing you are.

You’re never going to help anyone if you can’t own your power and heal your life.

You can do this!

——–

April Julson is an Empowerment Coach and Energy Healer for entrepreneurs. She works with women to boost their confidence and help them through the emotional roller coaster that business brings. You can find out more about her services here.

I want to hear from you! What steps can you take TODAY to overcome some of your fears around being seen? Let me know below!

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